Update

Last summer he bit his tongue. It swelled up and started to bother him....but the swelling never went down. The week before Christmas my dad went in to the doctors to have it checked out. They took a biopsy of the swollen area and on the next Thursday the tests came back positive for cancer.

On January 24, 2002 my dad (George Small) goes in for an 8 hour surgery. From what I understand of the procedure (and I may not have all the facts), they have to do the following:

1) Remove the cancer from his tongue (taking a good portion of his tongue with it)

2) To replace the area of tongue they remove, they have to take a large skin graft from his inner forearm.

3) To replace the area from his forearm they have to take yet another skin graft from his leg.

4) To get to his tongue and the area where the cancer is they have to do two things.

b) Cut a small opening at his chin, break his jaw and enter at the opening to access the bottom of his mouth.

He will be in the hospital for 10 days after the procedure and will not be able to talk for about 5 days. After about 5 days they plan on bringing in a speech therapist to help him learn to speak properly again.

Why him? Why now? Why there? He's never put himself at risk, never smoked or chewed...doesn't even drink for christs sake! Why my dad and why this? AHHH FUCK! I just don't understand why!!!! But I do know is that I will be by his side every step of the way. I will see him get better and I will see him beat this.

The day started out at 4 am. My brother and I met my mom, dad and sister at my aunts house so we could all go down to the hospital together as a family. We were tired, stresses...worried. The mood was somber. We made it to the hospital at around 6:30 and did the usual check in procedure while my dad got his silly little gown on and bagged his clothes. I have never felt so helpless in all my days....just seeing him sit there in the chair quietly waiting...knowing very well what was to come but also knowing that there was nothing that anyone could do for him or to help him.

9:00am: We said our good bye's as they wheeled him off to the floor below to be put under and then operated on. My mom was very upset as she watched them wheel him off. I was quiet. We headed downstairs to grab a bite to eat and then went to Towson Town Center so we could do some shopping to get our minds off the long 10 hour procedure dad was about to endure.

2:00pm: I crashed! I was so exhausted from running my mom and sister around town I just passed out at my aunts house till it was time to go back to the hospital to see dad.

6:00pm: We arrive at the University of Maryland surgical ICU and met up with the doctors. We had to take turns going back to see him cause of the sensitivity of his condition. I went in last. What I saw I could have never been prepared for.

Seeing my father laying there unconscious in the hospital bed with about 50 staples around his face/neck, 30+ in his mouth and close to 40 I'd imagine in his arm was the single most horrific thing I have ever seen. He did come out of the surgery ok but I'm not. I lost it in that room tonight from what I witnessed and I don't think I'll ever be the same. I can't begin to describe the feelings I felt seeing him there. Hatred, pain, sorrow, anger.... One of his big fears was how he's look when he woke up...I'm sure that the scars will heal...but I....I can't cope thinking about it right now. If you see me out and about do not ask me about this... I honestly do not want to talk about it. This is not something that I can talk away...it's real and my dad has to live with it for the rest of his life.

*and a huge thank you to Susan for taking time from the blood bank to give me some support tonight....those cookies were REALLY good...and are now REALLY gone! Thank you*

Well I went to see dad during my lunch break at work on Friday. To my surprise he awake!!!! The doctors said that he was be under anesthesia for at least 2 or 4 days so it was a big shock to walk in the day after his procedure eyes wide open and looking around! He could not talk because for one, he's got a sewn up tongue that has not healed yet and two, he's got a breathing tube in his throat. So needless to say he didn't have much to say but was making every effort to communicate with the rest of us and wanted us all to know that he was in no pain. He wanted to know how his procedure went, how much of his tongue they had to remove, what day and time it was and what he was hooked up to....things like that. It was very hard seeing my dad like that. He has always been the strong one of my family and to see him so absolutely helpless was totally devastating to me. This entire ordeal has been extremely difficult for me.

I went back to see him on Saturday afternoon. He was sleeping before I got there but seemed to wake up as I walked in the room. He got a big smile on his face when he saw me which made me feel very good. His room was very warm so he had the sheet pulled up to his knees and pulled down to his waist. Damn he's lost a ton of weight! hahh...he's lost about 20 lbs in the past 2 weeks cause of this and they say it's not uncommon to loose 20 more...we'll see about that! Before I got there mom had him writing on a pad of paper as best he could...his hand writing was not all that to begin with and now that he's got a huge splint on his hand it's even worse! hehehe...but we somehow managed to figure out what he was trying to say. I was picking on him asking him if they brought out the candy striped nurses after visiting hours..hehe...that got a big smile out of him...AND a resounding NO (shaking his head) The doctors all say that he's doing remarkably well for having gone through the procedure he did and that they will most likely take him off some machines soon. He's on everything at the moment....life support, breathing, feeding tube...you name it and he's hooked up to it! hahah

On Sunday morning I swung by my aunts house to pick up my oh so lovely sister (not) and my mom to take them to see dad. We got there around noon and were surprised to see that was almost totally unhooked from everything!!! Keep in mind that they had told us under best case scenario he would be hooked up and out cold till no later then today! They also told us that they had him out of him bed and sitting in a chair for about 2 hours! :) He was back in bed and laying down when we got there but he seemed to be in good spirits. They had him off the respirator, all his antibiotics, and some other monitoring devices. The only thing was was left was the feeding tube and the zantac drip to his stomach. This also freed up his right arm/hand to write with although it was very very swollen from one of the IV's he had but he could still grip a pen and write to us. He's trying to talk more now but still can't cause of the breathing tube in his throat and I'm sure his tongue is still not quite ready to deal with all the wear and tear. Regardless, the nurse I spoke to told me that they would most likely be bringing in a therapist to do a swallowing test to see if he can handle swallowing liquids....if he can they will take the breathing tube out of his throat for good! After that happens they should begin speech therapy and whatnot. I'm SOOO excited and SOOO proud of my dad for having the strength for this. They nurses are just amazed with his pain tolerance...they said that he's a poster child for this procedure! Most patients are pissing and moaning for pain meds...he has not had any problems and no pain! Go figure!? haha Well I just found out (7pm) that dad was moved to a step down floor one floor up from where he was in the sICU. That's awesome because now he can get more visitors and flowers! WOOHOOO I'm going to LOAD his room with all kinds of fun shit! hahh Well that's all for now, I'll report more tomorrow since he'll be in a new room and perhaps be meeting with a therapist. We'll see....cya cya

The constant sleep interruptions are wearing thin on dad. He could not get a good nights sleep last night because they were coming in and poking and prodding him every two hours or so. He's doing the best he can with the cards he's holding. On a brighter note he is moving along very well! They have him getting up to go to the bathroom and sitting up in a chair for about 20 minutes at a time. They have even started taking him for walks about the unit about twice a day! And let me tell you....the women he has working on him are pretty damn cute to say the least! Hahah (and HE knows it! but won't admit it with mom sitting there!~ Hahahh)

As for anything not going well ..... well time for one is a real bitch when all you do is sit or lay around all day. That I'm sure is really bothering him. He's normally a very very active person and to have to sit or lay ALL day is killing him! Also, they had him on a nasty potassium drip this evening that was burning all the way up his arm. He said it was REALLY painful and he has to drip 4 bags of the shit! Other then that he's been pretty sick on the stomach from all the food they are pumping through his feeding tube...it's making him very nauseous and NO ONE is happy when they have to puke!

On a lighter note, he was complaining about feeling nauseous so being the good son I am, I advised him to breath through his nose and out though his....uh...er...*hehehe* blow hole!? Hahah He didn't find it as amusing and immediatly came back by raising his left hand (which is in a hard cast and wrapped in a bandage) and smirking (as to say READ BETWEEN THE LINES BUDDY!!) hahha...he's such the joker! Hahhh

And to close todays events, if anyone would like to send flowers please feel free...this has been very very trying on all of us and the more color you all can bring to his room and his life the better!

22 S. Greene St.
University of Maryland
C 5 Gudelsky - Room# 502 A
Baltimore, MD 21201
C/O George Small

He's home and looking better and better ever day. Dad is home and getting stronger by the hour...it's amazing how well he's doing. I really think we have this thing beat....thank god... Thank you to all the people that prayed and or put in a good word for my dad. I really appreciate it.

Dad came down last week for two reasons. One, for a simple check up and two, for a talk with the radiologist to discuss when and where the radiation treatments would begin. The check up went well and they said he looked great. Swelling is slowly but surely going down and his speech is getting better and better ever day. On that Wednesday he and my mom met with the radiologist. To my parents absolute surprise, the doctors told dad that they were NOT going to have to do any radiation therapy!!!! They said that even though his tumor was large, it was not deep enough in the deep tissue of the muscle (tongue) to constitute radiation therapy!!!! They also said that the side effects were not fun from this type of treatment, constant dry mouth, sores, loss of hair, tooth decay, gum recession....just to name a few. So they sent him home with a clean bill of health!! It's amazing and I'm SO happy for him.....this treatment would have been VERY hard on everyone. Well dad looks like you are all set for your trip to Europe now!! I hope you have a great time there!! :)